if only for today, i am unafraid

ahem, eto na naman ako contemplating what to write here in my blog. so many things have happened since the last 'episode' namin.. well for once, we're back in each other's arms, happy as we can ever be and lost in our little world. scary, coz i feel i'm on the top of the world right now and what will happen if it's time for him to leave? i really don't wanna start blabbering here about that,he will read this right after i post it and i'm sure i'll be under the hot seat again..whewww..ever heard of whirlwind romance? that's us..barely a month together yet felt like it's been forever.

i loved him from the start eventhough knowing that i can't be the 'one' for him.you wouldn't imagine how much i cried right from our first day together till just last night. i was with him the whole day yesterday..

we woke up late, around 10.40am, i cooked breakfast and we ate, he took a shower while i ironed his long sleeved shirt and my own clothes to wear that day. we watched simpson's at the IFC mall at around 2 pm, went to St. Joseph's Church to hear mass at 4pm, then he brought me to the Peak afterwards. it was foggy and we couldn't see the city from up the viewing terrace so we went down early to eat dinner. he said he wanted to take me to eat at this posh resto called Cafe Deco located inside Peak Galleria, he's been there before and he wants me to try the baby back ribs. well it was actually very good, i loved it plus the french fries but the mixed salad was too sour for my taste. ah, the pasta carbonnara was delicious as well.. it was so romantic kasi candlelit dinner, he made true his promise to me that he will make me feel special and our every moment together as well. wow just looking at him makes me cry each and everytime.

i'm so happy coz sa kanya ko naranasan how to be treated like a princess. he always asks me if napapasaya nya ako, i say yes but i hope he knows what i feel is beyond words to explain. yes, she is so lucky to have him. so damn lucky...but guess what? i am lucky too, bcoz if only for a while naranasan ko what it felt like to be with him, ang swerte ng gf nya kasi forever syang mamahalin ng mahal ko and it breaks my heart whenever i think of him getting married soon. ahhhhhh!!!!, i told him to stop singing all these sweet songs everytime we talk on the phone. i'm saving my tears for the time na wala na sya sa tabi ko and all i will have left are the memories of our time together, then i will cry my heart out. sad huh? i'm scared that i can't love another man again without comparing him to him. ang taas ng standard eh! i don't wanna think about that, i told him that as long as he can, i will stay with him kahit na wala na sya dito sa hongkong.kahit ba paminsan minsan lang ang dalaw,i can deal with that. know what he told me last night? he said that even if one day we have our own separate lives and i'm with someone else, he's scared to feel that he would still want to see me, not caring if i have a bf here. i don't think it will happen anytime soon pag wala na sya dito. i will hold on til i can, no matter what, no matter when...

daddy i hope you miss me if u dont see me anymore. i thank god for letting you into my life, for bringing colors to my world, for loving me despite of myself and all my shortcomings. you filled my life with happiness and love... thank you for teaching me how to be a better person, to be confident with who i am and to strive for success in everything that i do. i honestly don't know what will i do with my life after you go... you will forever hold a special place in my heart.

why does it feels like our hellos will be our goodbyes?