para sayo...

it's 1.03am but i'm still awake. siguro tulog ka na at naghihilik pa. ako eto naaalala ka. siguro kung magkasama pa tayo, nagmi-midnight snack na tau ngaun - uber greasy chow mein o di kaya ice cream na binili natin sa 7-11 sa may kanto. takaw natin noh? pero ngaun di ka na pwede sa midnight snack kc nagagalit asawa mo. on diet ka na since then,panindigan mo yan ha! at least wala na ako jan to distract you. may nag-aayos na ng bahay at buhay mo. gusto ko lang malaman mo na namimiss kita. kahit araw2 tau nag-uusap. miss na kitang yakapin at kulitin.

sleep well. i love you.

ang galing ng bebi ko!

he'll be four months old this coming april 4. nong mga nakaraang araw napapansin ko na na sinusubukan nyang tumagilid on his own pero dahil malusog sya he needed a little push from mommy so that he can turn over. araw araw nakikita ko nagpapraktis sya tumaob hehe! guess what, kaninang hapon iniwan ko sya saglit sa bed to grab a drink sa ref,pagbalik ko nagulat ako kasi nakadapa na sya on his own! i was so happy and proud of our little boy. i wish andito ang daddy nya para makita nya ang paglaki ni baby. sad to say,he has to make do with pics and videos i send to him regularly. minsan i dont know who to feel sorry for - me or him.

me dahil hindi ako ang asawa or is it him seeing his 'panganay' grow up in a distance?

a secret?

there's something that i found out accidentally. someone's not telling me but my female instinct is screaming at me. i don't want to know, i want to pretend i don't know because i prayed hard not to let this happen so soon. i feel like it robbed me of the small amount of happiness that i am desperately clutching inside my heart. this is the reason why i feel sorry for my baby. he will never have a normal family while other kids will grow up with a mom and dad.

Starting a new life..

Wow i cant believe its been a year and one month since my last post. so many things happened since then. i remember my last post was feb.8,the day of his wedding. parang napakatagal na panahon na ang lumipas.. well, i got pregnant shortly after he came back to hk,i quit my job and went home in my 5th month fast forward dec.10 i gave birth to our baby boy ALEC GABRIEL DELA CRUZ. he came here last jan.for the baby's baptismal and stayed for 3days only. narealize ko lang mas ok ma malayo kami kc i wont have to deal with watching or hearing him talk on the f0n with the wife. minsan kc kahit sabihing dapat sanay ka na,wala tinatamaan ka pa rin. ganyan talaga mahal ko sya e. thank God i have my baby kahit di kami magkasama ng daddy,at least masaya ang mommy. the thing is you just have to deal with bouts of frustration, envy and insecurity paminsan minsan. tibay lang ng luob.. mahal na mahal ko ang mag-ama ko. nagpapasalamat ako sa araw2 na pagtawag nya asking how's the baby and we talk a lot. hopefully going strong pa rin kami..